Hospital Stays, IBD, and Self-Compassion

Breaking the streak…

Not too long ago, I had an almost two-year streak of zero hospital stays going. Sadly, that streak was broken in February. And again a few days ago. Life is unpredictable like that.

Like most people, hospital stays always leave me feeling shaken, humbled…, and rattled. The hospital can be a hard place to deal with. Incredibly hard sometimes. After several glorious years of staying away from the hospital, I had forgotten how difficult hospital stays can be.

I know. Sometimes, the hospital is where you must be, especially if you are extremely ill or in a flare-up and have no other option. But nobody likes being in the ER. Nobody likes being stuck in a bed out in the hallway. The whole environment is filled with stressors. Just thinking about it makes me anxious.

Anywhere but there

Yes, I forgot how much the hospital can suck. Maybe that is a good thing, as it meant my mind is healing from a lot of the trauma that occurred years ago when I was at my sickest and constantly in and out of the hospital. It’s a reminder that healing and growth are always possible.

I know I’m not alone – being in the hospital can sap your mental health. This fades with time, but it is still difficult.

Maybe it’s being in a position of extreme vulnerability. How can you not be vulnerable when you are puking all over the place? Maybe it is the loss of control…feeling completely powerless. Perhaps it has something to do with stigma or humiliation. There’s always a lot to unpack.

No matter how long or short the stay is, no matter how amazing or apathetic the care is, hospital stays always destroy a tiny piece of my soul and sense of self. Of course, some hospital visits are better than others. I have had the pleasure of the whole spectrum, but those are stories for another day…

Coping post-hospital

Remember, a good fall-back is…(you guessed it)…Self-Compassion. It’s a powerful tool that can help you regain control and empower yourself in difficult moments.

I’ve talked about it before – mindfulness. Self-acceptance. Showing yourself loving kindness. Mantras. Breathing into difficult feelings. Separating your emotions from facts…all that good stuff.

Often, when we feel weak or ashamed or sick, we may see this as evidence that we are unworthy. This is false!

In Joy Johnson’s (LCSW) “Self-Compassion Workbook,” she outlines a few easy statements you can repeat to yourself in difficult moments like these. Or any moments where you are experiencing intense emotions or feel you need some mindful self-compassion.

A simple one goes as follows: (repeat to self out loud or in your head)

“This is really hard for me….”

“I’m feeling _______ [insert difficult emotion]”

“It’s normal to feel this way; I’m not alone.”

“I don’t have to be perfect in this moment, but I can be patient and compassionate with myself.”

An even shorter version:

“Breathe. It’s normal to struggle at times like this. In this moment, I accept myself as I am”.

Examples of self-kindness statements you can say to yourself (or in a mantra):

“May I hold my thoughts loosely.”

“May I allow my thoughts to float by with ease.”

“May I accept myself as I am.”

“May I give myself permission to feel.”

“May I allow space for uncomfortable emotions.”

“May I thank my emotions and body for giving me the information I need to help myself.”

“May I allow myself to be soothed by breath and touch.”

“May I accept my emotions as they are.”

Final words

Remember, the more you ignore or invalidate your emotions, the more they control you. Observing your thoughts and feelings with mindful, non-judgemental curiosity can be good practice.  

I definitely haven’t mastered this yet, but I can see how it might help. So, in the aftermath of my latest hospital stay, I will try focusing on some of these statements. Maybe you can try too. We’ll see what happens.

For more information on “The Self-Compassion Workbook”, check out the following link: (it’s also included in Kindle Unlimited if you have a subscription)